Starting a new school year can be stressful for both the children and their parents. This is even more accurate for the current school year. The first period of excitement might be over after some weeks, and anxiety and tension can take over its place.
According to professionalists, schoolkids experience at least as many negative emotions and stress in their daily life as a worker of a multinational company. Thus we have to take every reaction seriously. (Naturally, there are schools, teachers and children who are not under these kinds of pressures.)
Each child works differently, they might react to tension in various ways. Parents know them best, so you are the ones who can discover the warning signs in time. These signs might be behaviours that you have experienced before in more difficult times (for instance nail chewing, insomnia, wetting accidents, etc.) so you can try to use those methods that previously worked to reduce them.
If your child is struggling with problems in school, you might think about school changing but in case you can’t afford that or the level of stress does not require such a radical solution, try to give support to the child to cope with the ongoing situation.
How can you help your child from home?
- Consequent rules, expectations and time management
Kids are not able to manage their time properly and providently when they enter school. They improve these skills during their first years of school, and they practice their to manage their own time in their adolescence. It is recommended to make a repetitive schedule for the weekdays with learning, homework-writing, eating and lazy hours. - Limited time before the screens
Playing on the phone or on the computer, checking social media platforms and scrolling does not provide real relaxation for a child with a tired neural system after a day spent at school. They seem to be resting but the reality is that their tension is stocking up during screen time. We do our best if we try to limit the time they spend in front of the screens – until we are able to do it. - Outdoor activities
To make the neural system and body develop correctly, school kids should spend some free time outdoors to play in the fresh air. This increases the oxygen level of the brain, develops muscles while physical activities decrease the tension of the day. Unlike at sport classes (e.g. at football or dance), during free outdoor activities kids don’t have to accept and follow rules and regulate themselves. - Having conversations, listen to each other and spend quality time together
During the weekdays it is hard to devote time to look in the eyes of our children, take our phones aside and pay real attention to their thoughts and problems. It is recommended to schedule time consciously for these confidential conversations before bedtime or after school because this is the way we show our children that we will be there for them in the future in case they will need help. Try to listen to them carefully and respond to their thoughts with respect, without being judgemental. Try to give advice only if they ask for it or if you feel they are open to it. - Reasonable amount of extra curricular activities
Is it really a good idea to apply for one more extra curricular activity? Consider to whom and why it is important. Children nowadays are often overloaded because their parents think they have to provide everything. Sport, music, language learning are all important and the children might be motivated to do all of them, but at the same time, we have to provide time to be lazy, to be bored, to talk and read, to play freely. These activities are only possible if the children have free afternoons without any programmes. Not to mention that these programmes can be challenging also for the family to carry the kids through town. - Free days, free hours
Everybody needs to relax sometimes. Do not forget that it is okay to say no to being busy or write homework. Children can skip a school day sometimes. We can be their partner in crime – staying reasonable, of course! Is there a better birthday than going hiking or to the cinema instead of sitting in math class? - Ask for help
If we think there is too much tension or expectations on our kids, you can ask for help. With more severe symptoms, you can always turn to the Pedagógiai Szakszolgálat (free pedagogical service) for individual help or group therapies. For prevention, we recommend looking for child psychodrama, creative tale-therapy or art-therapy groups when experiencing the start of the symptoms. Downtown City Centre will have 3 groups for children at their first years of school.
Kata Szirtes-Szabó,
remedial teacher, tale-therapist
This article is translated by Anita Nagy.
Click here for the Hungarian version.